really matters anyone
really matters to me…
my name is (x) not X the sign not the symbol mirror not mask mask is mirror mirrored by everything everyone the darkness closes in he closes in he is me I am him everything matters because nothing does the world is a miracle miracles are abominations as are we nothing-
(I erupt into incoherent screams and howls at this point, a state which continues for over an hour before I finally fall silent once more. The recording ends five minutes later, the last sounds being a quiet gurgling noise and a small click)
The above is a transcript. I forgot to turn my voice recorder off when I fell asleep last night, and this was on it when I awoke. I decided to leave the restaurant as soon as possible, after extracting the security computer’s hard drive and adding it to my backpack. As a note, my gun’s ammunition has changed once again. The bullets are now solid and black, feeling cold and slick to the touch. The gun’s firing mechanism has also changed subtly, seeming to be a kinetic or electric launcher rather than a traditional explosion-igniting hammer. I left the building, continuing to hike north along the cliffs. I was hesitant to head into the city proper, for reasons I couldn’t identify. After several dull hours, I came across a small auto garage. It had several vehicles in the lot, ranging from a late 1990s model Harley-Davidson to a World War II vintage Jeep that appeared to be in perfect working condition.
I entered the office, noting the keys hanging in a neat row behind a desk. As with the other buildings I’d seen, this one appeared to be in a state of advanced disrepair. It was clean and orderly aside from the decay. I poked around, but found nothing of interest aside from the keys and a pistol-grip shotgun under the business office desk. The bottom right drawer contained over 250 rounds of ammunition. I placed the shotgun, ammo, and the rest of my supplies in the Jeep, then stretched out in the backseat with my gun and my computer. The battery on this device has yet to drop from full power at all. Combined with my own lack of need to eat or drink, and I almost think entropy doesn’t work the way my instincts tell me it should. Things only decay under certain circumstances… for some reason, this leads me to think of a certain quantum physics principle. It’s said that, due to the nature of reality, a thing only exists if it is observed, and only WHILE it is observed. Observation can include interacting with any other particle, but still…if a thing only exists when observed, then observations create reality. If I observe something to be true, and believe it, then it will be true.
Would it be possible to materially influence the world this way?
It’s something to think about, certainly. Perhaps I should attempt it tomorrow. I can see no reason why this wouldn’t work, so I at least believe in the basic principle to be tested. That should help. I should probably draw up some parameters for-
(small whispering noise from outside the Jeep. It’s very sibilant, but quiet)
Other: (more hissing. They seem to be words, but too faint to be heard on the recording or by my ears at the time)
Me: (sits up, quickly closing the computer at the above cutoff point and picking up the gun. I slide out the other side of the Jeep, looking under the chassis. No sign of anyone. I speak quietly) Hello? Is someone out there?
Other: (more hissing, slightly louder now, but seeming to have not moved.)
Me: (after the incident with the girl at the docks, I was taking no chances. I slipped around the back of the Jeep, gun ready. There was no one there. I turned slowly, dropping the gun with a sigh. I heard the hissing again, but this time I could make out words)
Other: not…alone…here together…not alone…
I…realized something at this point. The hissing was coming from my shadow, which was moving without corresponding motion from me. Something in me knew that this was WRONG. It terrified me to the point that I didn’t even consider fighting. I dove back into the Jeep, curling up in the backseat and shaking. It’s only now that I’ve been able to calm myself enough to finish this entry. I’ll be leaving this place tomorrow, though I have marked it on the map I’m constructing. I’m going to try to sleep now, though I don’t know if I’ll be able to, despite my fatigue. Goodnight.